Why are you so obsessed with bar mitzvahs?
My Bar Mitzvah was such a missed opportunity. Here I was - young, impressionable, intelligent. And I had to go through this process of Bar Mitzvah - I had to go to Hebrew school, and meet with the rabbi, and meet with the cantor, and meet with the tutor, and learn the stuff. Why didn’t anyone think to add some substance to the mix? Why didn’t any of those teachers get to know me? Why didn’y anyone talk about what it actually means to be a Jewish man? So I decided to take revenge.
wait. aren’t you orthodox?
Sort of. The truth is, I am Alternadox. (The other truth is that I invented the word Alternadox). I am Orthodox by practice and by training, but I am not concerned at all with making other people orthodox. Rather, I am concerned with helping have meaningful Jewish experiences, regardless of denomination. Frankly, I think every Jewish denomonation has a lot to offer, and I have enjoyed learning from all of my rabbi friends, spanning all denominations. So I don’t need your ritual to be Orthodox at all. It doesn’t need to abide by Orthodox views of Jewish law. It just needs to be real and alive and compelling and engaging. And, I won’t be able to travel on Shabbat in order to get there.
what’s your background?
I grew up as a Reform Jew in a suburb of Philadelphia (Fly Eagles Fly!) who also went to an Orthodox day school (long story). After my Bar Mitzvah I was involved with the local youth group (JFTY!). My Jewish life in college (non-descript small liberal-arts college in NJ) was non-existent. Maybe I went to Hillel once or twice. For various reasons, I started to get more interested in religion during my sophomore year, and decided to take my junior year in Israel. While at Hebrew University I became much more observant. I returned to college for my senior year, balancing my newfound religiosity with studying and being in a band. I started hosting Shabbat dinners, got pretty good at talking about religious stuff with college-aged people, decided to go back to Israel for six months to learn a bit more (with the intention of coming back and working on a college campus), ended up staying for six years (in a place calld Bat Ayin), getting married, having kids, and getting ordained as a rabbi. I then went to work for ten years at Aish Kodesh in Boulder, CO, where I spent lots of time working with rabbis of all denominations, including Rabbi Marc Soloway (conservative), Rabbi Joshua Rose (reform), Rabbi Tirzah Firestone (renewal), Reb Zalman Shachter-Shalomi (renewal), and Rabbi Jamie Korngold (Adventure Rabbi!). In addition to my work with the Aish community, I did lots ot tutoring on the side for bar- and bat-mitzvah. In 2013 our family moved to Sharon, MA so I could work for Hillel at MIT. And that brings us to now.
who are your major Jewish influences?
Great question! Here is a partial list.
REBBE NACHMAN OF BRESLOV - for all things inner-life, spiritual joy, psychology
RAV AVRAHAM YITZHAK HACOHEN KOOK - for how all Jews and Judaisms are important as parts of a larger picture
RAV SHAGAR - for how to make sense of being an engaged Jew in the 21st century
RABBI SHLOMO CARLEBACH - for the music, and for being real, and for loving every Jew
RABBI SHLOMO FREIFELD, RABBI SHLOMO TWERSKY
RABBI YITZ GREENBERG, RAV NATAN GREENBERG, RABBI HENOCH DOV HOFFMAN - living rabbis who have taught me and learned with me and showed me how deep and wide Torah can - and should - be
THE LUBAVITCHER REBBE - for constantly challenging me to do more and be more for more people
THIS IS NOT WHAT ALL THE OTHER KIDS ARE DOING
That’s true. Most people don’t know the extent to which they can infuse a Bar Mitzvah - through traditional components and through creative, out-of-the-box thinking - with personality, meaning, depth and soul. People have been led to believe that “this is how it must be done” (and “this is how much it has to cost!”). But there are many “roads less traveled” in Bar Mitzvah territory. And, you might have to lead on this one, and show all the others how it can be done. They’re likely to thank you for it.
DOES A STUDENT HAVE TO HAVE SEEN ALL THE STAR WARS MOVIES IN ORDER TO WORK WITH YOU?
No, but it helps.