Book: the art of gathering
By Priya Parker - I’m not quite sure how I planned or executed any gatherings or events before reading this book. It is literally a game-changer. As you read, you will ask all of the most important questions about the event itself: why it exists (oh, you thought that it’s category (bar mitzvah) is it’s purpose?!?), where it should be, who should be there, what should happen at the event itself, and so much more. You will rethink how tables are arranged, what information is included in the invitation, and what it means to host. And then you will apply what you learned far beyond the Bar Mitzvah to dinner parties, business meetings, retreates, family dinner, etc.
Book: RECLAIMING BAR/BAT MITZVAH
By Rabbi Goldie Milgram - This book is truly excellent and very useful. It guides the reader through all the important questions, including: how to find the right tutor, write a genuine, heart-felt speech (or choose to do a different kind of project), find meaning in prayers and Torah readings, involve family members, design a reasonable learning plan, access the wisdom and knowledge of community members, plan a party that reflects your family’s values, and so much more.
That said, this book is intended for very specific people: families with kids who are motivated, self-aware, off the beaten path, Jew-positive, not shy, etc. These kids have fully absorbed their parents values and are not worried about what their friends will think because their friends are like them. Some readers will find the ideas and claims presented here as quite foreign to their own experiences. What, I shouldn’t have to fight my kids to go to BM practice? I’m supposed to tell the DJ what?!?! Why shouldn’t I get a professional photographer?
I recommend this book 100% for people whose kids are motivated, self-aware, off the beaten path, Jew-positive, not shy, etc. And for people whose kids are not that way, it can useful just the same.